My grades forecast for this coming exam period:

Viscera and Viscera Systems: Errrggggghhhh.

Developmental Neurobiology: Arrrrggghhhhhh. 

Classic Chinese Civilisation: Hnnnnnnffffff. 

Ethical Theory: Fucked.

I hate exams. Seriously, I’m going to fucking fail tomorrow. I can’t complete a single past exam question without having to go back to my notes, and I still haven’t read the paper that’s going to be examined tomorrow. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I don’t have that willpower or resolve that a lot of people do. I can’t sit there and go “oh, who gives a shit, I’m not gonna be a developmental neurobiologist anyway”. I don’t believe in that. I don’t believe in closing doors for myself, no matter how much I despise what it is I’m doing, or how irrelevant it is to my future, whatever that is. It might be some shitty remnant from my years at Mac.Rob, but it’s one of the few useful things I’ve learnt from my years there.

At least after tomorrow I’ll be done. But I’m so tired.

Viscera and Viscera Systems: Ha. Wow. Did not expect that.

Developmental Neurobiology: LOL WHAT THE FUCK HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HOLY SHIT HAHAHAHAHA DID I BRIBE A LECTURER IN MY SLEEP OR SOMETHING BAJHAHAHAJAHAJAJHAIOREA

Classic Chinese Civilisation: Must not have written a very good essay, but not a bad mark overall.

Ethical Theory: Lol. Hello lowest mark ever! :D

THAT’S WHAT HE SAID HURRRR

exams soon exams soon *dances around in panic*

thinkingthinkingthinkingthinkingthinkingthinkingthinking

Too much late night thinking leads to sleeplessness. I’m anxious, about my final semester, about scary exams, about my “FUTURE”. About my age. Whether I’m too old to start new things, about the things I’ll forget and the inevitable end of every relationship I’ve ever experienced. 

It’s times like these that I wish I knew from the outset what I wanted with my future, and what I wanted to do with myself. Have a clear mind and a clear goal. Sometimes I wish I had ambition and real confidence.

Curse my indecisive mind!